20100617 Six One-minute Comedy Films

The Films include:- Cheryl Cole, Zimbabwe, What's Wrong Doctor, Real Cowboy, Magic Timepiece, Last Request

ACTORS
Paul Clarke as the Man
Nina Nelson as a lady

Edited by Paul Clarke

SCRIPTS

Zimbabwe
--------

 DID YOU KNOW WE LIVE IN HEAVEN HERE IN ZIMBABWE?
 WE HEAVEN GOT PETROL
 WE HEAVEN GOT DIESEL
 WE HEAVEN GOT ELECTRICITY
 WE HEAVEN GOT FOUR X
 WE LIVE IN HEAVEN!!!!!



What's Wrong Doctor
------------------=

Patient: It’s been a month since my last visit and I still don't 
         feel any better.

Doctor:  Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?

Patient: I sure did. The bottle said 'keep tightly closed'!



Real Cowboy
-----------

An old Cowboy went into a bar, sat down and ordered a drink. As he sat there
sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the
cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?

He replied, "Well I've spent my whole life on a ranch herding horses,
mending fences and branding cattle, so I guess I am."

She said, "I'm a Lesbian. I spend my entire day thinking about women.

As soon as I get up in the morning, I think of women. When I shower, or
watch television, everything seems to make me think of women."

A little while later, a couple sat down next to the old Cowboy and asked
him, " Are you a real Cowboy ?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a Lesbian"




Magic Timepiece
---------------

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very 
attractive woman.  He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his 
watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just 
testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch?  What's so special about 
it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am 
wearing panties!"

And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says, "Damn thing must be an 
hour fast!"



Last Request
------------

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and
she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last
night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any
last requests!?"

She says, "That he did, Father... 

"The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'"


Cheryl Cole
----------
TBD



END